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Heavens, I learned a lot during our home renovation. A lot. One of the life lessons that I learned during this process was a little surprising for a home reno, but I'll take it!
Throughout our process we had tons of open space (removing walls does that) and since we didn't have any furniture yet, there was tons of space for dance parties! Penny was on the brink of her first big dance recital so we blasted "Whats New at the Zoo" and danced to our hearts content, not caring if the electricians weren't down with our jam or if our contractor thought we were a bit wonky...
That's when my sweet little Penny said it the first time, busting moves in the grand open spaces, she muttered five little words that broke my heart. "You are better than me." Better.
I don't know where it came from but suddenly my perfect little daughter just thought that I was a better dancer than her and she stopped dancing right in her tracks and spit out those words like poison.
It happened again a few weeks later while Penny was helping me paint and our HGTV film crew was documenting our color choices. Painstakingly, she stopped and looked at me and said, "You are better than me."
There's that better word again. And it broke my heart into a million pieces because it was in these moments that I realized that we, as women, as creatives, as human beings for that matter, we compare. We compare our clothes, our homes, our cars. We compare what our children are doing and what our cell phones can do. We compare jobs and waist sizes and so on and so on and so on...
And then three year olds do it. They compare. What are we doing?! Never in a million years would I think that I have set an example for my daughter that she may compare herself to someone else and especially that she would compare herself to ME! Heartbreaking to know that someone so perfect, so flawless and talented and smart and beautiful could compare herself to ANYONE.... and then I thought to myself, "Let alone, me!"
I was thinking to myself, what does this perfect little human of mine want to compare herself to me for? I'm not worthy of comparison at all...
If that doesn't come tumbling down on a mama like a ton of bricks... If it breaks my heart that my little girl is comparing herself and not seeing the amazing person that she is and the gifts that she has, it has to break the heart of our Heavenly Father that is so completely in love with us. It would suffice to say that when we compare our own lives and cars and jobs and clothing and cell phones, we're breaking His heart because He knows that we are enough. He knows that He has created us to be individuals. He knows that He has created us to dance to our own tune and to paint with our own creativity, not someone else's. And the moment we stop doing it our way and trying to do it someone else's way is a moment that we truly break His heart. We glorify Him by using the gifts He gave us in the best way that we can, not when we attempt to do it someone else's way. I told you it was an unconventional life lesson for a home renovation... but it happened that way and who am I to say what we can and can't learn from 3 years olds during home renovations, ya know?
